Ass Lock, a writer's disease

First it was repetitive stress syndrome that had my wrists and forearms burning. Now it's tired ass syndrome. I've been sitting too long at my desk writing smut and now ass lock has set in. Am I going to have to invest in one of those special ass pillows?

This is ridiculous. What part of my bod will cramp up next? Hopefully not my brain because I have plenty of ideas. Can my ass keep up with my fertile imagination?